Chapter 1: The Beginning
Discovering My Cycle
I remember getting my first period at age 12.
Something I always heard about in middle school, but didn't really understand.
What I did know was that it felt like the worst 5 days of my life every month: painful, gut-wrenching cramps, hugging the toilet, throwing up, and desperately searching for the strongest pain medication. Still, it never touched the pain. I also knew that I felt moody, snappy, and exhausted the week before—PMS, they said.
On top of that, I struggled with cystic acne so large it would completely disfigure my face. My self-esteem was completely destroyed and I carried a feeling of embarrassment about a natural process all women go through. I saw other girls going through some of the same things and believed this was just part of being a woman.
Chapter 2: The Birth Control Era
The Hidden Side Effects
When I turned 18 and went to college, the next thing to do in my journey as a woman was what everyone seemed to be doing—go on birth control. It seemed like the perfect solution: no unplanned pregnancies, shorter periods, and fewer symptoms? Sign. Me. Up.
But very quickly, I began to notice strange moods and feelings that didn’t feel like me. I felt like a zombie—disconnected, moody, and irritable, not just for one week, but all the time.
I tried different types of birth control, but managing the costs was a challenge. $60 a month for a college student who wasn’t even dating because of her low self-esteem and constant mood swings just felt like a waste of money.
So, I decided to stop the pill and the ring and move on without them.